Pretty White Girls Who Gargle Your Milk

White Power Milk, is a website that has recruited girls from the “upper echelons of society” i.e. rich, hot, healthy, and caucasian to literally gargle your milk to a state of cleanliness, for $125 a bottle.

One of the White Power Milk  girls bathes thoroughly, goes into a “milk spa”,  takes organic raw cow’s milk and gargles all the milk you order.  Supposedly, the longer the gargling process, the more contaminants are removed, and the purer your milk becomes.

Pretty White Girls Who Gargle Your Milk

 

They even have video service where you can watch your girl gargling your specific order of “discreetly packaged” milk and you have a diverse selection of girls from many different regions.

 

Pretty White Girls Who Gargle Your Milk

All the girls all have profiles that feature their Ivy League educations and, this is the creepiest part, images of them with their mouths wide open. 

Pretty White Girls Who Gargle Your Milk

Have you believed me so far?  Well then, we’re both idiots.  But don’t worry, artist Nate Hill convinced a lot of people this was real, which is a true testament to how crazy people are in this country.  The internet sort of took this by storm with either creepy fetishists that supported it, blogs that reported it, and conspiracy theorists that were determined to figure out who was behind the crazy company.  Turns out that it is a performance piece by Hill, inspired by ridiculous Tweets about white girls.

 

Pretty White Girls Who Gargle Your Milk

 

Upon this knowledge, our offense at the whole thing slowly turned to a shocking sense of slight disappointment, and a lingering thought of what pre gargled milk tastes like.  Oh well.

 


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